The spooky season was just here, which means eerie haunted houses, trick-or-treaters racing through the streets, and Halloween costumes filling your Instagram feed. But the ghost of a former partner may be scarier than the latest killer horror film to hit cinemas.
We’re talking about the situation when a former flame pops up in your social alerts, whether it’s Stories’ view, an Instagram like, or a TikTok remark. Dating experts have aptly (and festively) created the term “haunting,” and what’s terrifying is that it’s quite common and doesn’t discriminate between previous partners. So, in order to stop bad spirits from the past or temptation from to start creeping yourself, we’re tearing down precisely what this new dating word involves and how to prevent falling victim to it.
What is Haunting?
For years, ghosting has been a component of modern dating language. But haunting is a new phenomenon, and it’s becoming worse. Haunting is defined as the situation when someone from your romantic past lingering in your digital present by periodically viewing your Instagram or Snapchat Stories or intermittently liking your posts.
A haunt is a ghost from a former relationship (or fling) who has become entangled within your online world. They appear without surprise to frighten you, and because they come and go as they like, the only solution is to get rid of them is to wait until they opt to haunt somebody else. There are no Ghostbusters to help you with a ghostly ex.
What causes this to happen?
“People haunt for one of a few reasons,” according to Chris Armstrong, relationship counselor, and CEO of Maze of Love, in a Bustle report. According to Chris, there are three possible reasons to know why people haunt. They don’t want the haunting to end and they’re fascinated with the person they’re haunting, so one reason could be that they don’t want it to stop. Their frustration over things ending and their need to remain linked in their own way irritates them.
Additionally, they are naturally control freaks, so they want it to stop but were unable to. It’s like they want both worlds (a breakup and having someone else be with the person they’re haunting). Thirdly, stalkers feel compelled to bother the stalked person. The attention and irritation they receive are attractive to them, he adds.
How to get rid of it?
If it concerns someone, OkCupid’s chief marketing officer and dating specialist Melissa Hobley suggests cutting social media contacts with the individual. They may, for example, ‘unfollow’ someone on Instagram and delete them from their ‘following’ list. On the other hand, if a person finds them self “sliding into troubling patterns”, they may do the same thing and obtain some distance. It might be a beneficial cleanse.